Excuses Are Ugly and Limit Growth
Have you ever wondered why people easily pass the blame when the blame is obviously their own?
Excuses are ugly and leave a bad taste with others listening to the excuses. When someone starts rattling off their extensive list of excuses, no one wants to hear it. But what happens when you or I start rattling off our own excuses?
If we easily identify other people’s excuses, why is it so hard to see our own?
Looking in the mirror is not easy. If you don’t believe me, try it. Stand in front of the mirror for five minutes and see what happens. I have some clients do this when I see confidence problems. I want them to look deep into their own eyes and get reacquainted with themselves, the mess and all. It’s never
We typically shy away from looking at ourselves in the mirror, metaphorically speaking. It’s hard to see others the way we see at ourselves. So, we attempt to justify our actions, thoughts, and behaviors because we don’t want to change. Eliminating excuses forces us to change. So we make excuses to justify why we are right and the situation or person/people are wrong.
If we decided to stare at the mirror a bit longer from an outside perspective, would our excuses become as distasteful as they are when we hear other people’s excuses? The moment our disgust for our own excuses meets or supersedes others’, self-development tends to be hot on the trail. Excuses can be our biggest obstacle to development and growth. Get rid of them and own the messiness of needing to realign, course-correct, or self-correct.
3 Possible Ways to Eliminate Excuses
- Coach Yourself – Step back and have a conversation with yourself as though it was someone else. What advise would you give the other person? How would you help them see a different perspective? Ask the tough questions!
- Always Take The Blame – Of course it won’t always be your fault, but try defaulting to blaming yourself. This is an extreme strategy to self-correct defensiveness and avoiding
blame, but can be effective to shift your mindset. This strategy is a little tricky, so be careful, especially if you already blame yourself for everything. In that case, I would avoid this strategy. You know if you are that person already. - Stop Talking – Once you begin hearing your excuses, stop talking, freeze. If you apply this strategy, it will force you to begin listening to excuses and demand action. Yes, stopping is an action. You want to train your brain to act in opposition to your excuses. Most importantly, you need to start seeing your excuses
in the moment.
